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Extra info for Complete Wellbeing Magazine (March 2016)
48 WITHOUT YOU It is harder for children to find the words to describe and explain their difficulties. Their behavior may seem strange and inappropriate. An adult may not necessarily understand the connotation a certain situation may have for the child. Asking the child to logically explain himself and behave rationally is usually of no help, and he will remain in this state of limbo until he can achieve some emotional relief. The adult’s role is to help the child identify his emotions and difficulties, help him define and isolate the problem, and work together to find an appropriate solution.
Even when explanations are offered, the child is still liable to escape to an imaginary world, one that offers comfort and a less painful reality. This is all the more true when explanations and information are not provided. Regression A temporary emotional regression is a normal response to loss, and may be part of the mourning reaction. This is the case for adults as well as children. Regression is a healthy defense mechanism that is employed by the ego to protect and maintain the vulnerable and hurt psyche.
Children have an even harder time, because they still lack the words and the concepts, and are inexperienced at expressing emotions and thoughts through words. They express them through everyday behavior and in games. The adult has to know how to “read” these expressions and help the child find the words for them. As compared to adults, children can shift from one emotional state to another in a very brief period of time. They can quickly swing from a low mood to a cheerful one, shifting from the issue of loss to other matters of interest.