College Notebook by Isaac Newton

By Isaac Newton

Part of the Newton Papers assortment.

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I said to her, ‘you know what, I really admire the way you’re dealing with all this stress, you’re very professional. I just wanted to say that I appreciate you’. You should have seen the smile on her face. As I walked away I heard her passing some polite conversation to the next customer. Let Them In On It Another great trick, one I find works for me (especially at home), is to tell people when you feel a displacement coming on. When you feel like snapping someone’s head off let them in on it.

My friend John displaced his stress on his lovely wife for many years. Deep down he knew he was in the wrong but rather than accept responsibility, he rationalised and projected the blame on to her. It was Jane’s fault for being so irritating, for being late with his dinner, for driving too slow or for driving too fast, she was either too soft with the kids (in his opinion) or too hard. Jane was a lovely girl. She was very soft, which I think is a nice characteristic, but John took advantage of her nature and, subsequently, she took the abuse and the blame for many years.

First you have to lead yourself then you can lead others. It’s hard to lead a cavalry if you think you look silly sitting on a horse. I can see now my greatest enemies in this scenario, and what took me into energy debt. 1) Over-consideration for what others would think of me if I said no (ego). Which in 43 A BOOK FOR THE SERIOUSLY STRESSED turn led to over thinking and 2) poor decision-making. Which leads to bouts of prolonged stress. 3) I set myself an impossible task (trying to cram years of experience into a matter of weeks).

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